Random Stuff Presented in a Random Way!
by Counterproductive Squirrels
Summary: Written by Robyn and Shlee. Risho's after Kuwabara, and hilarity ensues. Read, or Eikichi will cry! Chapter 6: The antagonist finally appears after 5 chapters. At least he's not an evil glowing red eye.
1. It all begins with a shoe

Random Stuff Presented in a Random Way 

by Shlee and Robyn 

Explanatory author's note: So anyways, Shlee and I wrote this story while in our Great Works class. Each of us would write a line or two, then pass it to the other person. If something doesn't make sense, it's because there was virtually no communication going on between us as we wrote it. Finally, please review and leave suggestions for chapter names! If we like them we'll use them, and if we don't we'll ridicule them mercilessly! We'll be posting the chapters one by one, and once we run out of stuff we've written already... well, then it'll take longer to update. So now, finally... ONWARD! 

(Oh, and beware, it starts out really goofily...yes, that is a word...because we had no idea this would be a fanfiction. Anyway.... Yeah.) 

Chapter One 

There once was a pelican with a shoe. The pelican liked to chew on the shoe, even though he had no teeth. He was teething, so to speak. Anyhoo, one day the pelican lost the shoe. He wandered around, searching desperately for his shoe until he found Kuwabara's kitten, Eikichi. He saw the kitty was crying, so he asked what was wrong. But neither pelicans nor kittens can talk, so they had to play charades. 

The kitten played around with her face until she looked like Kuwabara, then put one paw over her eyes to shade the sun, as if she were looking for something. The pelican squawked when he saw the ugliness of Kuwabara's face, but nodded for Eikichi to continue. Eikichi made her face go back to normal, pointed to herself, looked around again, and then shrugged exaggeratedly. 

The pelican looked around, saw something, hopped over to it, then grabbed the bottle top and returned it to Eikichi. The kitten stared at it blankly, then looked up at the pelican with a questioning looking on hier face. The pelican kicked the top and thrust his face into the bottle top, and came out looking miraculously like Yusuke! 

Eikichi looked excited and started jumping around. Eikichi again made herself look like Kuwabara and began to attack the pelican. The pelican somehow managed to fend off the kitten, nodded, and pointed off to his left. Eikichi nodded and was back to normal again, and charaded running between two pairs of feet belonging to Yusuke and Kuwabara. Then she ran around in circles for a while, stopped, looked around, and pantomimed panicking. Eikichi turned her face into Kuwabara's again and began to fall. 

Before she could make it to the ground, though, the pelican caught her and somehow managed to pantomime carrying her into the air to look for Kuwabara, don't ask me how. 

In attempting to pantomime this, however, the pelican _did_ carry Eikichi into the air. Eikichi panicked and, survival instincts taking over, wriggled out of the pelican's grasp! 

Eikichi plummeted towards the earth, but pelicans don't have those beaky-pouches for nothing! The pelican, who I feel like naming Bill, dove after her in a desperate attempt to catch her! Eikichi was somehow above the ocean and inches away from her doom when Bill scooped down and caught not only Eikichi but a fish as well. Bill then landed on a dock and spat out Eikichi, keeping the fish for himself. 

Eikichi rolled out, looked up, and who should she see but Kuwabara! Bill could recognize Kuwabara's ugly mug anywhere, so he nodded to Eikichi and flew off, still in search of his shoe. 


	2. Assassins and such

Disclaimer, which we should have put in earlier: We don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or else there would be another season out by now. Plus we wouldn't be on a fanfiction site. So yeah, we're making no money. We're broke! If you sue us, all you will get is our YYH merchandise, which would be pretty stupid. Anyway. 

Chapter Two 

Because I no longer feel the need to concentrate on Bill, we will now focus on Eikichi. 

Eikichi happily bounded up to Kuwabara, who looked down in surprise. 

"Eikichi!" Kuwabara yelled in that annoying gravelly voice of his, "I found you! Boy, I'm gonna pound Urameshi for what he did!" Kuwabara picked up his kitten, who then snuggled in his arms. Aww. 

Kuwabara was about to run off when suddenly deadly diamonds whirled toward his head. Holding Eikichi protectively, he twirled around to face his attacker. It was a beautiful, albeit villainous woman - scantily clad and with more diamonds ready to be thrown. 

"Who are you and what do you want?!" Kuwabara shouted stupidly. 

"I am Tukiko. Not that it will matter to you much longer because I shall now kill you." Tukiko thrust more diamonds at Kuwabara as she spoke. 

"Ah! Ah! Quit it!" Kuwabara twisted around to protect Eikichi from the diamonds, but considering he was on a dock, he couldn't dodge very well. Tukiko merely laughed as she watcher her prey squirm. 

Kuwabara put Eikichi down on the ground. "Run, kitty, run!" he urged her desperately. 

Tukiko saw her chance as Kuwabara bent at an odd angle to put Eikichi down. She kicked upwards into the space between his chin and his Adam's apple. Her kick connected and Kuwabara fell into the ocean. Eikichi freaked out and ran to get help! 

"Ahh, my job is done. Now to report back to Risho. He will be so proud. His revenge is complete," Tukiko said to herself as she walked away, failing to even make sure that Kuwabara was truly dead. 

Kuwabara broke the surface of the ocean and started gasping for air. At that time, Eikichi returned with Yusuke chasing her, yelling "Come back here you stupid cat! Why does Kuwabara have to have a soft spot for _cats_?" Then Yusuke caught sight of Kuwabara and started cracking up. "You going for a little swim? Ha ha ha!" 

Kuwabara instantly bounded up, fists barred and screamed, "Come over here and say that!! I'll knock your head off!" 

Yusuke put up his fists as well. "You wanna fight? All right, but you'll just get wet again!" 

Eikichi yowled as if to say "Not again!" 

Kuwabara threw a punch at Yusuke, but it went sailing over him when Yusuke suddenly bent over to inspect something. "Hey, what's with all these diamond things?" 

Kuwabara lost his footing and plunged into the ocean again as Yusuke realized, "Hey! These aren't really diamonds. They're made of... ice? What the heck happened here?" 

Kuwabara clambered back onto the dock, spluttering, "Oh yeah! Some crazy lady came and started throwing them at me! I think she mentioned something about some guy named Risho." 

"Risho... Risho... Why is that name familiar?" 

"Don't tell me you forgot Risho already," a disembodied, but familiar voice said condescendingly. 

Kuwabara and Yusuke looked up and said in unison, "Hiei?" 

Hiei, who was standing at the far end of the dock, rolled his eyes. (_All_ of his eyes!) "How observant of you." 

"Shoulda known you'd be close by. I'm guessing Kurama's here too?" Yusuke called to his friend and teammate. 

"As always," Kurama said with a small smile, appearing on the prow of a yacht tied nearby. 

"Okay, great, we're all here. Now who's Risho?" Yusuke said sarcastically. 

"Don't you remember Team Masho?" Hiei said. "That was Jin's team." 

Yusuke's face lit up. "Oh, you mean the ninjas?" 

"Risho? Wasn't that the guy that I battled? Yeah! He had that clay armor stuff," Kuwabara suddenly realized. 

"Yes. That was one of the only battles you won," Hiei said as he walked to the end of the dock to join Yusuke and Kuwabara. 

"I got that guy good!" Kuwabara retorted. "You come over here and say that, shrimp!" 

Hiei, who was standing not a foot away from him now, just stared at him. 

"Apparently Risho wants revenge for the way you beat him so easily at the Dark Tournament. He must be trying to carry out his revenge through Tukiko," Kurama, who had also joined them, explained. 

"It's 'cause he's too cowardly to do it himself!" Kuwabara started chuckling self-indulgently, while Hiei did his best to ignore him. "Wait a second. How do you two know about Tukiko?" Hiei's Jagan eye flashed and Kuwabara continued, "You were watching? Why didn't you help me?!" 

"First of all, we were too late to really do anything," Kurama interjected before Hiei could make some sort of derogatory comment. "Secondly, we had heard of Tukiko before, and she never bothers to do a very good job." 

"Did you two happen to see where she went?" Yusuke asked, ready to kick some ass. 

"No," said Hiei simply. (Helpful, ain't he?) 

"But she does have connections with a demon assassin's guild," Kurama put in. "We can probably track her down through that." 

"Or perhaps I could be of some help?" a voice in the distance said. 

"I know that voice!" Yusuke shouted, and Kurama simply smiled. 

Suddenly a pointy-eared redhead landed on Yusuke's head. "Aye, these lugheads here can't figure this out by themselves!" 

Touya walked into view, smiling at his friends. 

"I guess we don't have to go the assassin's guild after all," said Hiei, looking at Kurama sidelong. 

All the while Yusuke and Jin were playfully arguing until Jin stopped short and said, "Oh, 'tis a good thing we came when we did. That guild are not a pleasant lot. Not at all." 

"You're lucky Risho was so misinformed as to hire Tukiko," Touya added with a dark look on his face. 

"Agreed. If he had hired any other guild member, it is highly likely that you would be dead, Kuwabara," Kurama said, and everyone nodded solemnly as the weight of the situation hit them all. 

As Kuwabara debated with himself whether or not to defend his fighting skills, Yusuke asked impatiently, "So what do you guys know about what Risho's been up to? Once he finds out Kuwabara's still alive, he might attack again." 

"As you know, the Shinobi pride themselves on their fighting skills. Kuwabara here beat Risho easily, even though he was severely injured. This was quite a blow to Risho's ego. He spent the entire boat ride home plotting how to get back at Kuwabara. Jin and I left Risho because he was not fit to lead the Shinobi. We have been searching for you four for quite some time. I am sorry we came too late to warn Kuwabara," Touya explained to the group. 

"So you don't know where he is," Kurama concluded with a frown. 

"_Weelll_, no," said Jin sheepishly. "But if we mosey on back to where we last saw the little bugger, we could probably pick up his trail." 

"Hey, Yusuke!" Kuwabara exclaimed suddenly, punching him in the shoulder. "Now you can be like a _real_ detective!" And he started chortling at his own wit. 


	3. Underage drinking! Woot!

Chapter Three 

We now join our heroes on their exhausting search for Risho's location. 

"Jin! Anything from our eye in the sky?" Yusuke called up. 

"Oh, the wind is a might foul up here. We must be on track." 

"You're _not_ being very helpful," Hiei admonished as Yusuke cracked up. Oh no, we just forgot about poor Eikichi! Side note: Eikichi was sitting the comfort of her own home during this ordeal. There, that's better. 

Hiei's Jagan eye flashed as he searched for traces of Risho or Tukiko. Eventually he grunted "Hn" in satisfaction. "Both Tukiko and Risho have been in this bar," he announced, indicating the smokey entrancesway he stood in. "However, I can't be sure of how long ago it was, or even if they were here at the same time." 

"Only way to find out is to go inside. But how do we hide all our demon friends? Kurama, Hiei and Touya all look normal enough, but..." Yusuke shot a look up at Jin, "how do we hide Peter Pan here? Jin, it's time for you to play human!" Jin's eyes widened and he shot straight up in the air to avoid Yusuke's makeover for him. 

Kuwabara, who had been quite useless up to now, suddenly grinned evilly. "I have the _best_ idea!" Jin cowered while Kuwabara explained to his friends. "Well, see Jin's got that horn and those ears that we gotta cover. The only way to cover them is to give Jin a wig. And his accent plays tricks on the ears and makes you think it's a girl talking..." (We're evil!) 

Jin's eyes widened even further, if that's even possible, as he realized the implications of what Kuwabara was saying. "Oh, no you don't! No no no!" But before he could fly away, a vine extended from Kurama's hand to wrap around his arms and legs. "Bloody hell! You blokes can't be serious?!" 

But the "blokes" smiled at him maliciously. 

After much squirming and screaming from Jin, they were able to have a remarkably attractive, albeit incredibly ticked off, female version of Jin, whose ears were sagging so low they almost came peeking out from under the wig. "I hate you all," was all Jin said. 

"Wow, Jin, where have you been all my life? How did I get by without a beauty like you?" Yusuke could barely contain his laughter - Kuwabara was not as talented. 

"Let's not waste any more time." The group turned to Hiei, who was already in the bar, beckoning for them to join him. He disappeared into the murky room, followed by a cackling Kuwabara, a fuming Jin, and Yusuke with a strange look on his face as a laugh threatened to burst forth. Touya and Kurama were inscrutable as always. 

As the odd group entered the bar, the bartender gave them the evil eye until he saw Yusuke - then he beamed and got a glass ready. "Hey, Urameshi. Haven't seen you here for a while." 

"Yeah, I've been busy." He hopped up on a barstool. "Drinks are on me. Just put it on my tab." 

"Sure thing." Then under his breath, the bartender asked, "Hey Urameshi.... Who's your lady friend? She's hot stuff." 

Jin, with his acute hearing, went pale; but Yusuke, with a grin, merely wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him onto another barstool. "This is Jun, but hands off, k?" 

At this, Kuwabara choked on his drink and fell off his barstool. "What's the matter, Kuwabara? You jealous?" Yusuke asked, a smirk plastered on his face. 

Hiei quickly drained his glass and leaned over the counter. "Listen, I'm looking for someone," he said conspiratorially to the bartender over the sounds of barely-restrained merriment and fury. "Two someones, actually. You willing to cooperate?" 

The bartender raised his eyebrow and said, "I'm afraid I don't understand." But it was obvious he understood completely. 

Yusuke, who happened to know that the bartender stored a shotgun under the counter, shot Hiei a look that pleaded "I don't want any mortalities." (Aww, why not? Sniff for no mortalities.) To the bartender he said, "Ignore him, he's a bit forward. Look, we just need to know if two people in particular were here together." 

"I see a lot of people, Urameshi." 

"Oh, you'd know these two. A man with slick black hair and a woman - " 

"With white hair and almost no clothes," Kuwabara added. 

The bartender raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I would have noticed _that_," he said in an undertone. Raising his voice, he said, "You know, I _might_ have seen them. But a little compensation would refresh my memory." 

Yusuke swore. "Kuwabara, I'm broke!" he hissed to his friend, who had recovered from his laughing spell by now. "You got any cash?" 

Kuwabara gave Yusuke a dirty look but gave him the money anyway. 

Yusuke slapped the money on the counter. "Remember anything now?" 

"Hmm, come to think of it, I do remember seeing a woman recently. She looked very pleased with herself - even before I gave her the drink," the bartender said. 

They waited patiently for him to continue, but it seemed that no more information was forthcoming. "Look, that's all we've got!" Yusuke protested, as Hiei began to draw his sword. 

The bartender eyed Jin/Jun and said slyly, "I do believe I need _something_ to jog my memory." 

They stared at him, stupified. Suddenly Yusuke shouted, "Huddle!" and they gathered in a corner of the room, save Touya and Kurama who were still nursing their drinks. 

"No! No, No, NO! I will NOT!" Jin was almost yelling his protests. 

"We're not asking you to sleep with him," Hiei said quietly, as Yusuke begged "Jun" to at least use a falsetto. "If you just use your feminine wiles on him..." 

I don't _have_ any feminine wiles!" Jin shrieked girlishly, drawing the attention of a nearby _real_ female. 

"What's the problem?" she asked, walking over to them. 

Yusuke's, Kuwabara's and Hiei's eyes all widened at the intrusion - or maybe at Jin's going all-girl on them and talking to the girl. 

Jin actually found it quite easy to talk to her, as he didn't have to bother chatting her up. After he had explained the situation to the girl, her face lit up. "I know just how to get you out of this!" she exclaimed with a grin, and drew him apart from the others to discuss her plan animatedly. 

Yusuke and Kuwabara were in awe of this transformation - so in awe that they didn't notice Hiei going back to the bar ready to raise some h-e-double-hockey-sticks. 

Hiei drew his sword just enough to reveal how sharp it was. "I don't mind bribery," he informed the bartender, "but I won't allow you to use an innocent woman in such a foul way." 

Yusuke heard this and ran over to Hiei, pulled him aside and said, "Geez, we can't take you demons anywhere can we?" 

"If you'd just let me threaten the guy properly...." But Hiei trailed off as he caught sight of Jin ambling up to the bartender. 

Although they couldn't hear the exchange between the two, it was quite obvious that Jin (or shall we say Jun in this case) was turning on the charm. 

"How sickening," was all Hiei could say. 

Eventually Jin sauntered back to the groupm leaving the bartender with a dazed expression on his face. "I've got - " Suddenly he stoppd, and switched out of his falsetto. "I've got all the information we need." 

"Uh...huh. Um, ok, well let's go then. Hey wait...where's Kurama and Touya?" Yusuke said in a daze. 

"Um...." Kuwabara was pointing back to the bar. There sat Kurama and Touya, arms around each other. Touya was giggling like a schoolgirl, and Kurama was hiccupping. Empty glasses surrounded them. 

"Oh...my...God." 

And they left the bar. 


	4. Walking and staggering around

Chapter Four 

The companions staggered down a convenient dark alley, Touya leaning on Kuwabara, Kurama on Hiei. "Yer my bes' frien'," Kurama slurred to his crutch. 

Touya started sniffling. "I thought _I_ was yer best frien'!" 

"Ya are! Two bes' fri- HIC!" Kurama giggled at his own drunkenness. "Yer so silly 'Towa'." 

Meanwhile Jin was scrubbing vigorously at his makeup. "I can't get it off me face!" he wailed. 

"I'll get you a moist towelette or something later," Yusuke reassured him. "But what did you find out?" 

"Well, getting that bartender to spill his guts was easy enough. He did see Tukiko and she should be easy to find." With that, Jin shot up into the sky and looked around. Then he nodded in satisfaction and looked back down. "She was in the bar only last night, after she attacked Kuwabara," he continued as he took the lead. "Apparently she's staying in the Jusenkyo Hotel." 

"Did he mention Risho?" Kuwabara called out from behind. 

"No. As far as I could tell, Tukiko didn't contact Risho yet. I see the hotel!" Jin shouted suddenly from his position high above them. 

"Let's go!" Hiei said, sword already drawn. 

But Kurama fell to the ground without Hiei's support, and instantly fell asleep, Touya cooing "Aww, cute!" all the while. 

"Uh, I think we've got a problem," Kuwabara said, a sweatdrop forming on his head. 

"Wait. Now Kurama's norcoleptic? Weird," Yusuke said, but he grabbed Kurama and woke him up, with Kurama now using Yusuke as his crutch. 

"How are we supposed to find Tukiko with these two drunkards on our hands?" Hiei said drily. 

As they were now coming out of the alleyway and its secrecy, Jin floated back down to the ground. "I suppose one of us will have to stay behind to look after these fellows." 

Yusuke smiled, "You volunteering?" and he dumped Kurama on Jin, with Kurama and Touya giggling all the while. 

"Oy! Get offa me, you lugs!" Jin sunk to the ground in defeat, the two other demons clinging to his arms happily. Touya, an old friend of Jin's, looked at his friend and started playing with Jin's ear. "Twoing, twoing, twoing," he said as Jin's ear "twoinged" back into place. 

"I'm _so_ going to hold this over your head once you're sober," Jin muttered, head in hands. 

Yusuke couldn't help laughing out loud. "Good luck with them, babysitter Jin!" he called out as he and the others headed for the hotel. 

The group quickly arrived at their destination, Hiei's sword at the ready. "Put that away until we find her," Yusuke told Hiei, and Hiei did as he was told, although he was not happy about it. 

As soon as they were inside the lobby, Kuwabara stopped his friends with one arm. "Watch and learn," he said with a smirk, then ran up to the registration desk, panting exaggeratedly. "I...need to find...Tukiko!" he gasped to the receptionist dramatically. 

The receptionist gasped and began searching frantically for Tukiko's room, but then stopped short and said, "Wait, who's Tukiko?" 

"My cousin! She has white hair! Please hurry, it's an emergency! Our cat died!" 

"Oh no!" And the receptionist searched with such fervor that the desk was all but torn apart. Eventually she pulled out a sheet of paper in triumph. "Room 3421, third floor! And I'm sooo sorry about your kitty!" The receptionist started sniffling. 

"Humans," Hiei sighed dismissively as they headed for the elevator. 

The ride in the elevator was uneventful enough, except when Hiei got a little bit too annoyed at the musak playing and he killed the speaker. 

They stepped off the elevator and found Tukiko's room, ready to charge. 


	5. The longawaited showdown!

Side note: It's not that we have anything against Kuwabara, Robyn is actually a fangirl of his, it's just that he's _so_ easy to make fun of... 

Chapter Five 

Yusuke rapped on Tukiko's door. "Room service!" he announced cheerfully, as Kuwabara muttered under his breath, "What's wrong with my cat story?" 

The group waited, but Tukiko never answered the door, and Hiei, extremely impatient, knocked the door off its hinges. 

"Way to destroy others' property," Yusuke commented as they looked around the room. There was no sign of Tukiko. Well, there was no sign of her until Hiei heard water running in the bathroom. 

Kuwabara started blushing furiously. "So what are we gonna do, just wait 'til she comes out?" 

"Sure, why not?" Yusuke said as he flopped down on the bed. Hiei paced back and forth impatiently, gripping the hilt of his sword until his knuckles turned white. (He's so impatient to fight Tukiko, you'd think he was actually _anxious_ to get revenge for Kuwabara...) 

Kuwabara, not happy with waiting, tried to sit down and relax when suddenly who should go flying past the hotel windows but Jin! They heard a shout of "Come back here, fox boy!" and he was gone. 

The three looked at each other and quickly ran to the window and frantically opened it. Kurama seemed to have recovered from his sleeping spell and was now running about insanely, Jin doing his best to keep him from being seen. Touya was nowhere in sight. Suddenly Jin shot away from Kurama and quickly returned with Touya in hand - well, Touya with the wig Jin had worn in the bar. Seemingly having spotted his comrades on his last flyby, he deposited Touya on the balcony. Before Jin could talk to the group inside, a vine whipped up, wrapped around poor Jin, and pulled him back down to Kurama. They rushed out onto the balcony to get a better look, but now the two red-heads were hidden from view by other balconies. 

Touya giggled as Kuwabara pulled him into the room, and Kuwabara was quickly given new hair as Touya put the wig on him and laughed histerically. 

Hiei suddenly slapped a hand over Touya's mouth in an effort to silence him. "Listen," he hissed. There was no more sound of the shower. 

The group turned and there was a dripping Tukiko clad in a towel standing behind them - and she didn't look happy. 

"Uh, hi?' Yusuke said sheepishly, eyeing her - not very discreetly. 

Her eyes widened as she caught sight of the group's _other_ redhead. "You!" she exclaimed stupidly, pointing at Kuwabara in disbelief. 

Unfortunately for her, Hiei had already drawn his sword and he was ready to spill some blood, until Jin and the still drunk Kurama came rashing through the window into Tukiko, which casued her towel to fall off. 

Kuwabara and Yusuke blushed and faced the other way, but not after getting a good look first. 

"Oh!" Tukiko gasped at her sudden nudity, but then she noticed how uncomfortable it made Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Jin - although Jin was more preoccupied with keeping Kurama under control. Touya didn't seem to notice, as he was too busy counting the ceiling tiles. 

Tukiko quickly made herself some ice diamonds and prepared to throw them at Kuwabara. 

She didn't count, however, on Hiei being nonplussed. "Don't take advantage of his naivete," he said, a smirk playing across his face. He stepped in between her and Kuwabara, ignoring the latter's demand to know what was going on, and continued, "you have more pressing matters!" Hiei charged toward her, sword flashing in the sunlight coming in through the open window. 

Tukiko growled and rolled out of his sword's reach. A lamp, sliced neatly in half, clattered to the ground. 

Hiei attempted to charge again, but tripped over Kurama, who had fallen asleep on the floor. 

"Ha!" Tukiko leapt up and attempted to turn Hiei into a shish-kabob with a spear of ice. Touya, in his drunken stupor, made a shield for Hiei out of ice, but it wasn't a normal shield - it had carvings of flowers, smiley faces, and a fox that looked remarkably like Youko Kurama. The spear got stuck in the shield, and as Tukiko desparately tried to remove it, Hiei slipped out from under the shield and put his sword to her throat. "Your problem," he smirked, "is that you're not used to your prey fighting back." 

"And your problem, my dear demon, is that you clearly forgot that in battle you should never touch anything to the skin of a being with the power of ice," Tukiko said smugly as she turned Hiei's sword into ice; and she would have iced Hiei ahd he not dropped his sword when the handle turned cold. 

The smirk never left Hiei's face. "You're merely prolonging the inevitable." Suddenly he disappeared, and a blur hid Tukiko from view. Just as suddenly Hiei was back in front of her, and Tukiko was unscathed. 

"Ha! You couldn't even touch me!" Tukiko crowed in triumph. 

Hiei held up a discarded ice shard. "Why should I want to?" He looked at her feet one eyebrow raised. 

Tukiko also looked down to find there was no longer any floor beneath her. She fell into the room below, the occupants of which were naturally surprised to see a naked body on their floor. Just to add some funny coincidences, the room was full of college men - all of whom were drunk. While they dealt with Tukiko, the group upstairs dealt with Kurama and Touya, who were now playing a strange mix of pattycake and Janken. 

Yusuke had turned around and watched the two for a while before saying, "OK, let's get out of here. I can't fight a naked chick and it's not exactly easy to fight around our drunk friends." Hiei agreed and the group left the room, but not before Kuwabara stole Tukiko's mints on her pillows, laughing all the time. 

The hotel management would later wonder why the frat boys came down screaming about icicles. 


	6. Another showdown, of sorts

Chapter Six 

"OK, well that trip was useless. We didn't find out anything of any use to us." Yusuke groaned and looked at his friends. 

"The timing was just all wrong!" Kuwabara agreed. "Do you think we could go back and find her again, once she's dressed and our friends are sober?" 

"No need for backtracking. Left behind a trail, I did, when we left," Jin said, feeling quite proud of himself. 

What _kind_ of trail are we talking about here?" Hiei asked suspiciously. 

"Left a mighty cold wind tunnel blowing after us." Jin's ears perked up a little - mostly because he wasn't babysitting Kurama and Touya anymore. 

"But if Tukiko leaves before we can come back, then we're still out of luck," Hiei pointed out. 

"How about we wait here to find us? Besides, we gotta sober up Kurama and Touya before we can do anything," Yusuke suggested, always looking for a chance to relax. 

"Yeah, Jin's wind tunnel will lead her right to us!" Kuwabara shouted, causing Kurama to put his hands over his ears and whine in protest. 

Yusuke sat on the ground, leaning on the wall to fall asleep while Kurama, liking the idea of sleeping, flopped on the ground, instantly asleep. Touya immediately snuggled up to him and fell asleep as well, creating a very cute tableau. 

Hiei cringed at the sight of everyone sleeping and said sharply, "Fine. I'll keep watch." 

A few boring hours later, Kurama woke up with a splitting headache. "What?..." he asked in confusion. 

"I see you're finally back, Kurama." Kurama looked confused and Hiei continued, "You got drunk in the bar, Kurama - or should I say Shuichi?" 

Kurama frowned. "I had forgotten my human body hadn't had alcohol yet," he explained, frustrated. "When I was a thief I could drink for hours on end with no noticeable effects." 

"Yes, well, Touya made the same mistake." Hiei pointed to the sleeping ice master. 

A faint smile spread across Kurama's face. "At least I will not be alone in my hangover." Getting back to business, Kurama asked, "What happened to Tukiko?" 

Hiei grunted and looked away. "Long story short, she got away. We're waiting for her to come after us." 

Kurama simply nodded and joined Hiei at his post. 

Soon Touya awoke as well, and Jin, who was back to his cheerful self after getting his makeup off, teased him mercilessly over his drunken escapades. 

After briefing Touya over the happenings in the hotel room, the group soon grew restless. "Geez, how long are we gonna wait?" Yusuke asked irritably, having woken up from his little nap. "It's like eleven at night by now!" Kurama smiled at Yusuke's lack of patience and Hiei merely rolled his eyes and started pacing. 

"It's only 10:37, runt," said a voice at the end of the alley, and the group turned to look at the speaker in surprise. 

"Tukiko! About time you found us!" Hiei snarled. 

"Put your sword away, shrimp. I've decided fighting you lot isn't worth the one hundred fifty thousand yen." (About $1200, according to Robyn's possibily misinformed calculations) 

"And you're not worth my time, but I need to stretch so I suggest you prepare yourself." Hiei charged "slowly" (as in you could see him charge) towards Tukiko. 

Tukiko used her ice spear as a pole vault and leapt over him. "Listen, boy, Risho wasn't happy that you're not dead," she told Kuwabara. "In exchange for protecting me from him, I can tell you where he is." 

Yusuke looked at her with zero trust in his eyes and said, "OK. Where is he?" 

Tukiko wagged a finger at him. "Tsk, tsk. How do I know you won't kill me as soon as I tell you?" 

"How do we know you'll tell us the truth? Guess you're just gonna have to trust us," Yusuke said, tired of playing games. 

Tukiko looked around: she was surrounded. She snarled, "Fine then! I'll lead you to him if you protect me along the way. If I lead you into a trap, you may kill me." 

"Oh, golly-gee, may we? Let's get this straight: we'll kill you if you even look at us wrong. We can find Risho on our own - without your help, so don't go thinking you're in control," Yusuke snapped. 

Tukiko just looked at her feet and mumbled something that sounded uncomplimentary. She turned and led the group down the road. 

"Don't try anything funny," Kurama warned her. "We won't laugh." (Until Hiei cuts off her head. Then we'll laugh. :-) 

The group trudged on; no one seemed too happy: Jin's ears were normal, Hiei sulked, Kurama and Touya just walked, and Yusuke and Kuwabara didn't joke. 

Eventually they found themselves back at the bar. "This is where Risho first contacted me," Tukiko informed them. 

"We figured _that_ much," Kuwabara said impatiently. "But where is he _now_?" 

Tukiko just pointed to the par and said, "After you." 

Yusuke nodded at the others. "Cover me." Kuwabara and Hiei moved to cover his flanks, and Kurama and Touya followed, guarding Tukiko. 

Yusuke walked into the dark bar and saw it was deserted, but noticed a light shining through the cracks of a closed door. 

Klaxons screamed "Ambush!" in Kurama's head. He tensed, glancing at Tukiko, but she just smiled back at him. 

"Wait." Touya looked worried. "Where's Jin?" 

But it was too late. Yusuke was already turning the handle and pushing the door open. 

They heard a startled shout from within. "Hey! Occupied!" Yusuke slammed the door shut in surprise. 

"A-heh. Wrong door," Yusuke said sheepishly as Kuwabara fell down in exasperated surprise. 

"Wait, that voice sounds familiar," Hiei began, but was interrupted by the sound of a scuffle outside. 

"Ay! That was a right foul thing you did!" they heard Jin's voice yell frantically. 

A familiar figure burst through the outer door backwards, as if thrown. Clay skidded across alcohol-soaked tile. 

Yusuke whisked his head around and realized whose voice he had heard. "Botan! What are you doing here??" 

"Yusuke?" she called out from beyond the bathroom door. A toilet flushed, and the door opened to reveal Botan. "What are you doing here?" 

"Saving Kuwabara from Risho. Why are you here? Don't tell me Koenma sent you!" 

"Bingo!" 

Meanwhile, Jin jumped through the door to tackled the downed Risho, and the others soon followed his lead...save Yusuke, of course, who was already occupied. Kuwabara charged into the brawl, waving his Spirit Sword and yelling. 

Kurama suddenly caught sight of Tukiko trying to slip out unnoticed. "Oh, no you don't" he cried out, tying up Tukiko with his vines. 

Hiei noticed this and left Risho to bludgeon tukiko. "I have had a problem with you since you first opened your mouth." 

"So anyway, what's the deal?" Yusuke asked Botan, seemingly oblivious to the fight behind him. He didn't even flinch when a thrown glass shattered on a nearby wall. 

"I have the arrest papers for Tukiko. I thought those might help - it's only a shame that I was late," Botan explained, watching the fight out of the corner of her eye. 

"_Late_?!" Yusuke exclaimed. "You mean we went through all this trouble for _nothing_?!" 

"Bing! This was a completely pointless story." 

"What story?" 

"Never mind." 

"Wait a minute! You have Tukiko's papers... what about Risho's papers?" Yusuke asked, the gears slowly turning in his head. 

"Ah, those are pending," Boton said, sweatdropping. 

Somewhere in the Spirit World, a strangled cry was heard: "How many papers do I have to _sign_, Ogre?!" 

After that random little tidbit, we turn our attention back to the barfights - how fun! 

"You traitor!" Risho yelled his first line at Tukiko. "I should kill you right now!" 

"No, no, no. YOu can't kill her! I have to take her to Lord Koenma!" Botan said as she hopped up on her oar and carted Tukiko away. 

Risho now set his sights on Kuwabara. "You... _human_!" he shouted in lieu of an insult, and charged at him, fists raised. 

"Ha ha! Bring it on!!" Kuwabgara yelled, swing his Spirit Sword at Risho, not paying attention to where he was running. He tripped over a bottle on the ground and his face fell into a pool of alcohol. 

But before Risho could pummel him into a bloody pulp, Jin and Touya dashed between them. 

Risho paused. "You two... you have dishonored the Shinobi!" 

"Aye, dishonored the Shinobi somebody has - but twas not us!" Jin shouted as he whipped up a violent wind around them. 

"_You_ betrayed _me_!" Risho shouted, but his voice was blown away. 

"No time for talking!!" Touya yelled as he made his ice weapon. 

Yusuke fought against the buffeting winds to reach the fray, but Kurama but an arm out to stop him. "It's a matter of honor," he said by way of explanation. 

Kuwabara crawled out of the fray and wined "Hey, I thought this was my fight." 

In the center of the maelstrom, the battle raged on. Touya was slashing with great speed and agility while Jin kept Risho trapped within his wall of wind. Risho was feebly blocking with his gauntlets, but he was gradually being driven back. Touya made a final slash, driving Risho a little too far into Jin's tornado. With a cry of horror, Risho was launched through the roof of the bar. 

Everyone watched Risho fly and then stared at Jin and Touya. "Oops," the two said together. 


End file.
